I'm on my way back to Paris. I paid for internet two days ago, for sixty minutes. I didn't use all of those minutes and, little did I know, they expire. So I can't doodle about on the internet for half the train ride, c'est la vie.
Funny, I don't even like that phrase anymore, "c'est la vie." Such is life? No, such is not life. If I had paid more attention to the rules I would have used my whole sixty minutes because I would have seen the phrase" You can use your credit in several sessions on one journey." That says in one journey . Things should not be excused when they are difficult or unsatisfactory; those situations should be analyzed and then overcome or learned from.
New years has past and now I find myself making many a resolution.
Meditate daily, exercise daily, have a routine, stop making excuses and stop shrugging things off.
Life can be good and at least somewhat smooth; it's not about what is going on around you.
There could be a war, a famine, a drought and life could still be good. It all starts and ends within the self. Happiness does not come from external influences, though you can permit them to take it away and influence when you decide to be happy.
So no more "C'est la vie" and no more "oh well." How can I live in a better way? How can I improve the situations where I would usually be muttering such phrases? The answer, studying and learning from every experience in life. Having an open heart to all beings and using an inner calm created by this to approach situations intelligently, not taken by strong and fleeting emotions.
Right now all I am doing is contemplating things I have been reading, coming very near to regurgitating the exact values.
I'm not certain of these ideas (though I act confident), I will test them by doing and then decide if this indeed is the correct way.
Right now I feel like I am being timed, there is a race and somehow I've wound up running in it. You know that song "Graceland" by Paul Simon? Well I sort of feel like the girl who calls herself the human trampoline. Only I feel that way because when I fall short, or go below my standards of myself, I react extremely to correct myself. Such as a trampoline, if you can manage to really jump down on it you will be shot up quite high incredibly fast.
I feel that part of my leaving my position in Paris was my jumping down really hard; it took a lot out of me being there and it took a sort of jab at my ego to walk away from the commitment, although I know it's for the best in more than two ways. So now I am being shot up really high, really quickly. I'm scrambling to make the best of it, trying to think of all my options and choose one so that perhaps I can land properly as not to go down so low again. The goal being to even out, or even get off the trampoline all together, but I have only so much time before gravity grabs me again.
As I said before, it's up to me. I believe I can do it, I know I can do it, therefore I shall. Before I know it I will be steady, mindful and happy.
We all have the same desire to be happy and we all deserve to accomplish that goal. May you find happiness.
